By Katie Carpenter, Everwild Media
Subject: Congrats and condolences
Hey Wendy –
Hope you’re getting through this stormy day. I’m bummed that Memorial Day is already over – we had so much fun carousing around the neighborhood. Your backyard barbecue was a blow-out, thanks again, but now it’s time to get ready. Happy hurricane season, we used to say, but now we run for the hills.
Before you go, do you need any help pulling those wobbly steel shutters across the patio? Our local summer threats – like gators, bears and twisted metal debris flying at the windows at 100 miles per hour – need something to block their path.
So, I don’t know whether to send you congratulations or condolences! Making the Atlantic hurricane names list is epic. And being last on the list is really newsworthy – it means you could get celebrated twice, coming and going. We party at the start of the season, when the list drops and your name is called, and then again, if we survive all the way to “W.”
Wendy is 20 named storms from now (they don’t use every letter, we heard, or we’d get sick of Xavier and Zelda being repeatedly called). Twenty storms – that’s a lot of bottled water and propane. Honestly, I’m hoping we don’t even get to Jerry. Definitely not Karen. But remember just five years ago, we had 30 named storms and 14 became hurricanes.
Tropical Storm Wilfred formed in mid-September! The W-watchers that year were not disappointed.
If we do get to Wendy, our little coastal town will probably be on a “boil-only notice” and the debris could be piled up to the treetops – if there are still trees. Looks like there might be some trouble ahead around here since they pulled the goalie.
National Weather Service Director Ken Graham says we should expect an above-average hurricane season, but it really doesn’t matter how many times we get hit. That Ken – always joking around. “There’s no such thing as Hurricane Justa. No such thing as ‘just’ a Cat 1 or ‘just’ a Cat 2,” he said. Even one small one can mess you up.
My kids looked it up — the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration season outlook for the Atlantic basin this year will be busier than usual: They’re forecasting 13-19 named storms, when the average is 14, and 6-10 hurricanes, when the average is 7.
I hope we won’t get to Wendy, but really I don’t want to face down any hurricanes when so many of our support services are being cancelled. “Repealed and rescinded,” as they say in Washington.
One recent headline reads, “With hurricane season ahead, Trump cuts leave Florida weather offices understaffed.” It’s sad. There are dozens of vacancies in Florida meteorological offices. We heard that an understaffed Weather Service could mean the wrong coastal areas are evacuated, or even that a flight might not get rerouted around turbulence from a storm. Bumpy rides ahead. Scary!
Wendy, they say even removing the remaining debris from last year’s Hurricane Milton could cost hundreds of millions of dollars. Poor North Carolina. Even around here, there are still mountains of contaminated debris in temporary dump sites since Hurricane Helene hit last September. Waterlogged mattresses, toxic drywall, junked jet skis – and they say people are still adding garbage to the pile.
It looks like the Environmental Protection Agency is not going to be helping out much either, after they’ve proposed to cut more than half the budget. Seriously, 55% of it slashed! Talk about “repealed and rescinded.” I heard they’re going to stop testing tap water for poisons like PFAS and pesticides.
When the next hurricane washes toxic run-off and pig farm poop into our fresh water, who you gonna call? Every resident of coastal Florida should be quaking in their rain boots. And inland, too.
This summer, we should keep friends close, enemies closer and a friendly local weatherman on speed-dial. Hey Ken, what’s our zone? Do we know our zone? What is a zone? Do we have to evacuate? If no one’s answering the phone, then what?
Wendy, no matter how famous you could be, I do NOT want to see your name up in lights on the Weather Channel!
Sending prayers and wind shear your way,
K
Katie Carpenter is a West Palm Beach-based filmmaker with Everwild Media (www.everwildmedia.com), producing documentaries about conservation, climate change and solutions. Banner photo: A satellite image of Hurricane Helene during the 2024 hurricane season (NOAA, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons).
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